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The current year represents a ten-year milestone since the phrase “ghosting” hit the public consciousness. Back then, the concept that someone could instantly end communication with a partner without a word seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, seeking a mate has only become more confounding – an commonly unsuccessful exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by online jargon.

Generation Z, a generation who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a concerted attack on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic glossary has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive breakdown to the phrases Zoomers is using to talk about love, intimacy and the search of both. To echo one of the year’s most popular online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your real, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A social media test connected to a test developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's reaction is engaged or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This refers to seeking out someone who aids you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would get a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do budget-friendly romance in a inflation-era world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 80s yuppie excess, it refers to partners who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of being guarded: practicing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Flags

• Red flags – Behavioral habits suggesting a potential partner is bad news. For instance calling their exes unstable, poor tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions confirm your decision to pursue a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe niche, mostly inoffensive quirks. Examples include being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same stuff or people that you do (nothing creates closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and frequently trivial turnoffs that instantly shut down any feelings of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly romantic display.

J

Careers – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be waning since some gen Z prefer fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {